Posts Tagged With: learning

Self-knowledge and Discovery of Self

I didn’t know I had a shy bone in my body until I was 11 years old.

Now, that’s a long time to be around and not know something like that about yourself. So, how did I find out this little nugget of wisdom? By attending a new school for the first time in my life.

I went two week without speaking to anyone other than the teacher and no one showed any kind of interest in me – at all. I was the outsider. In my old school, no matter how many times I moved to a new house I had my foundation set in stone – my Grandmother’s house was “home” and my elementary school an extension of that and I was the kid everyone knew.

So imagine being ripped from the life you’ve always known and tossed into a strange place where there were no footings, only quick sand. I learned a lot about myself marooned at that new school (and the next one I attended prior to high school). I am both strong and weak; smart and naive, loving and spiteful, shy and bold.

It’s hard enough for a girl to go through puberty at such an early age and deal with all of these conflicting sides to my personality but in a strange environment with hostile peers it became a nightmare. Let’s just say there were moments of glory (as lead in the school-wide Christmas Play) and moments of despair (wondering if I should just run away).

My main character in Time’s Tempest, Taya, faces whether or not she truly knows herself and how the events of her childhood helped shape the woman she became – be it for good or bad.

This fluctuation in knowing yourself and self-discovery do not just happen at puberty. Throughout our lives we grow and change and often it happens without our knowledge – one day we’re just different: high school, break-up, marriage, death of a loved one…

However, I must say that all throughout my life the one think that’s always remained the same is my contradictory nature 😛

What about you? Do you have a constant?

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The Journey of Life is a Process

Deviantart: Crossroads of Dime by sugarmints

Deviantart: Crossroads of Dime by sugarmints

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Write what you know.” It’s interesting to see how much of who I am and my own life experiences comes out in my writing.

I mean – I write science fiction and fantasy!

I’ve never been to another planet, experienced another dimension, played with (real) magic, or even excelled at science after grade 8. But one thing I’ve been my entire life is a student and a jack-of-all-trades.

The problem with being a student, dedicated to life-long learning, is that I don’t obsess about any one thing. Sure, I know a lot about writing and teaching but that’s because I’ve been doing it since I learned how to read and write (I’m not joking here – little kids like to play “house” but I liked to play “school”).

I love music, but I’m not an audiophile.

I love gaming, but I’m into Mario Cart not Super XV Racing (or whatever).

I love archery, but haven’t held a bow in my hands since high school.

I love astronomy, but never take the time to watch the stars any more.

I love the theatre, but I always knew I’d never make a living acting or as a backstage technician.

I love to dance, but since I pulled a groin muscle doing the splits when I was 32 (acrobatics and jazz) I feel like a fraud now.

I love food, but I’m a terrible cook.

I enjoy sketching, but I’m a novice at best.

I enjoy hiking, but I haven’t gone exploring since I was in college.

I enjoy woodworking, but I haven’t touch a tool bigger than a drill since University.

It goes on. My likes are diverse and I have just enough knowledge of each to get me into trouble.

They say that everyone is an expert on something, but that just makes me laugh.  I’m no expert. I’ve tried a lot of things but my journey toward self-fulfillment and self-actualization keeps getting squashed by reality.

Maybe that’s why my main characters are always searching for an understanding of who they are and what their place is in this life – I do know that journey well. My grandmother would say that I simply haven’t lived long enough to be able to find the answers I’m looking for. But then, that just begs the question, “When will my time come?”

Has yours?


Categories: Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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